Techno-Ethics

I get concerned, sometimes, about the proper way to cite ideas coming from readings in the technical world. I just posted on my goals site, What I Will, a post entitled "some realizations." In this post I am drawing on some of my own ideas and experiences about everyday life and linking them to things I have learned recently, specifically from my Management Skills for Public Service Seminar I am taking through W&M's Career Center. On my goals post, I do not specifically cite where I am drawing the idea from, namely because in the presentation we had the man demonstrated two primary sources that use this same idea and since he was a secondary source, I don't feel the need to actually attach a bibliography. At the same time, I did feel the need to come here to this blog, linked under the same common blogger.com identity, to comment on my concerns about technical ethics. See, this section could just count as the bibliography. I also thought, then, that I should probably somewhere have a list of everything I am reading at any given time posted. There is a Facebook application that does that, but I generally don't add my textbooks, but maybe it would be worthwhile. And, then, would that count? I'm not sure.

Absurdist Livejournal Poem

Second Coming

Confidence

I realized tonight that I have gotten into a habit of thinking that I am the "ugly girl." You know how you are casually dating or sleeping with someone and he and his friends are always talking about the other sweet parties they go to? Sometimes it starts to feel like the girls at all these other parties that they bring home are smoking hot and you're just the one they feel ashamed to mention to people. The interesting thing, though, is that when you are actually around them, for whatever reason, often enough to find out about the other girls they're bringing home, or if you were to randomly stumble into an awkward situation one night, sometimes you realize that you're not the ugly one. In fact, you're pretty smart, funny, laid back, cool, and assured, comparatively. It made me wonder about why sometimes powerful women have a hard time finding happiness in romantic relationships. I think it has to do with what a man (or another woman) can handle at any given time. A strong, worthwhile woman is a lot harder to play games with than someone equally attractive but a little less headstrong both because she can see what's going on and because strong women do command a decent amount of respect. Thinking about all of these good things made me realize that I have been forgetting about the power of positivity over the past semester or so. I had been forgetting that worry about things makes them true instead of just believing in yourself, wanting certain things, and waiting to see what happens, which generally brings out the best of all circumstances.

I'm going to breathe now, for a while, and remind myself of all of the good that is life and of all of the good ways of looking at things. That's it, for now, but I'll probably have more to say on it later.

Sitting in a booth

Last few times I've gone out with my girlfriends and met up with a couple of guys, I've noticed the tendency men have of squishing me and my girlfriends on the inside of booths. I had gotten pretty frustrated. To me it seemed like a type of control. They were between us and the rest of the restaurant, bar, or world. They could determine who we did or didn't talk to just because they were blocking access to us. I felt significantly trapped, at times, and definitely felt like it wasn't an ideal situation. But then I went out to dinner last night with a few of my girlfriends. Instead of sitting on the inside of the booth, I sat on the aisle side. I expected to feel more freedom and, in some ways, I did, but I also noticed an enormous downside to sitting on the outside.

Particularly, depending on what type of atmosphere you are in, sitting on the outside of the booth can be limiting. As you sit and talk to the other people at your table, you have to turn in towards the wall to be able to address everyone. As you do this, you shut out the outside world and are left only with the option of looking at the other people at your table. On the other hand, the person sitting on the inside of the booth can turn their back to the wall and look at at everything happening in the rest of the room. Certainly there is a person between them and everything else going on, but at least the inside person has visual access to everything. In some ways, this ability to see what else is out there is empowering because if the person on the outside of the booth isn't being interesting enough, you don't have to pay attention.

Relationships

I just realized last night that I might have been too busy idolizing the past to enjoy the present. I'm relating this to my independent study because I think that relationships and dating are a women's issue. A central one. And they have a lot to do with body image and sexuality because so much of how our ideas about these things are shaped have to do with our past experiences with men and women in dating situations. I realized that I talk about one of my exes an awful lot. Like all the time. Granted, he was a good friend and I dated him for two years, so that's a pretty significant amount of time I shared with him. And I talk about past relationships because we learn a lot from the things we did during them and mistakes we made. But I also am becoming aware that in remembering the relationship as a whole and in looking for similar qualities in someone new, I'm not allowing myself to be happy with the beginning phases of new relationships because I am so eager for them to become something else. I am not content just to date someone occasionally or to run into them around campus and have something happen after a few weeks or months, I am much more interested in making it all happen at once, and I think that is a false hope. I definitely believe in the power of being present in the moment, so I'm going to try to revise the way I'm handling things, and I would tell anyone else who has hit some relationship bumps to do the same. You can't look for your old partners positive qualities without ultimately ignoring all of the good things in your new interests. Sure, you can have certain things you know you like in a person, but you need to separate them from being possessed by any one person and instead let them become simply adjectives and character traits.

I'll let you know how it goes for me. You let me know how it goes for you.

Breasts: A Documentary

The hour-long documentary Breasts directed by Meema Spadola (who also made a film called Private Dicks: Men Exposed) is a great resource for open dialogue about female bodies, specifically, breasts. Composed of a range of viewpoints--large and small, young and old--the film allows the women to talk about how they feel about their upper bodies and how breasts affect their interactions with the world. Although I am not sure I learned much from watching the film, it was refreshing to hear other opinions on breasts.

I watched the movie with a male friend of mine who I assumed wouldn't enjoy the film much, but afterwards we talked a little bit about his experiences. The film was a good jumping off point for the two of us to discuss other body issues that women have and initiated a few questions about breasts and how women might feel about them. He thought, though, there could have been a larger diversity of breasts and viewpoints and that by limiting the film to 22 voices, many of whom are only shown in specific segments, there were a lot of perspectives excluded.

I thought the film attempted to show women from various walks of life, but it is true that many of my own feelings about breasts were not echoed in what the women on-screen were saying. I did particularly enjoy the mother-daughter pairs who appeared together and discussed not only their own bodies but their feelings about each other's bodies. I think these scenes revealed a lot about how women feel about the bodies of those around them. I also particularly enjoyed the historic clips that were interspersed throughout the interviews because they did a lot to show different ways in which breasts have been depicted over time as well as kept the tone of the film lively.

One issue I did have is that the film raised the question of the power of breasts, something my male friend immediately picked up on and was joking about, without doing much to provide an answer. None of the women really were able to describe the power of having breasts in a clear manner. Instead, it came off as a vague and questionable notion. I would have liked to have seen a few more academic and scientific voices in the mix that could have possibly explained things like biological reasons for the power of breasts and sociological and psychological points of interest. However, as a film that provides a frank glance at what some women think about their breasts, I thought this film was worth seeing. Only an hour long, it easily held my attention and I was disappointed when it was over.

Even though many women assume that they are the target audience, I think this film is particularly appropriate for men. It allows them an opportunity to see women's bodies through the eyes of the women they belong to and to understand a little about what breasts mean to those of us who have them. I also thought the film would be an excellent resource for women with questions about body image who might need some reassurance that the way they feel about their breasts is completely normal.

You can see edited versions of this review on IMDB, Netflix, and Amazon.

The Great Happiness Space

This film, The Great Happiness Space by Jake Clynell, was an intriguing, thought-provoking and sometimes disturbing glimpse into a culture that is, to most, unfamiliar if not unthinkable. It engages the audience in a no-holds-barred look at the Japanese male companionship trade, providing insight into reasons for why men become hosts as well as why women seek out their services. Question after question was raised in my mind not only about the lives of the men working at Osaka's Cafe Rakkyo but also about a culture in which this industry can exist and thrive. What are these women lacking in life that makes them shell out thousands of dollars just for amusement, entertainment and male company?

Many reviews and even the synopsis on the website, compare these male hosts to geisha, citing them as a contemporary male version of this ancient tradition, but I have to disagree. Geisha were well trained in a variety of art forms and provided dance and music in addition to their intelligent conversation to the men who paid to spend time in their presence. The male hosts at Rakkyo lack these talents and, instead, offer a different set of services and fill a very specific niche in a Japanese society that has an interesting relationship to sexuality and intimate relationships.

This is a movie to watch, not just to learn about the sex trade in Japan, but also to spark thoughts on why men and women both seek intimacy in its different forms within the service industry. Having lived in Japan and possessing an interest in gender and sexuality issues, I thought I knew what I was getting into when I pressed the play button, but this film introduced ideas and concepts that I shuddered at and could not stop thinking about for days.

See an edited version of this review on Netflix Amazon and IMDB.