STI rate in teens

So, when people ask me why I focus on the body and sexuality within women's studies I consistently say that it is because I think we are approaching a crisis within the realm of women's bodies because of some mixed messages about weight and sexual activity. An article on BBC today confirmed some of my fears. A study conducted by the CDC showed that one in four girls aged 14 to 19 tests positive for a sexually transmitted infection and that the percentage is even greater for black teens. My fear is that if something doesn't change these numbers will continue to increase.

We live in a society in which sex is permissible for young people outside of wedlock and quite obviously many of these teens are choosing to engage in sex, but they are also obviously not being informed of how to take care of their bodies. I know that I personally went through a sexual education course that was based on the abstinence-only model and I know a good number of my friends had similar experiences.

I was even recently talking to one of my close friends and she said that since sex was something that "just wasn't talked about" in her home and because she always felt guilty and uncomfortable about sex, she has a fair amount of unprotected sex. She said that having a condom and using it made it more real and made her feel more like she was deciding consciously to have sex instead of just letting it happen without protection.

My question is "what do we do about it?" In my mind a lot of these problems could be solved by frank, honest, open, thorough discussions about sex and sexuality with young people in an attempt to help them through the challenging and frustrating process of figuring out their own bodies and how they work, but I'm pretty sure that at least some places in our country are too conservative for that type of sex education.

One of the things, though, is that if children don't receive thoughtful information about sex from reliable resources like teachers, parents, and counselors, they're going to learn about sex from pornography, television and peers instead. Some conservatives think that if we don't teach our kids about sex we are protecting them, but instead we're just leaving them to misinformation from these other sources.

Many teenaged boys begin masturbating to pornographic movies and magazines which they can download off of the Internet or get from friends and older brothers. For anyone who has ever watched a pornographic video or looked into an issue of Playboy or Hustler I am sure you must agree that this is a pretty poor source for boys to be learning about the complexity of sexuality, particularly female sexuality. Porn is even more easily accessible now with the Internet. For instance, youporn.com, an explicit version of youTube, provides hours of free videos and all a person has to do is click a button claiming to be 18. I know that I personally would never want my sons, if I ever had any, to learn about sex from a resource that promotes the message that it is okay to objectify women in the bedroom. Even if you do have a good content filter in place on your computer, you can't stop your young kids from getting messages about sex. Commercials these days treat sex almost like a joke. Men slathered in Axe have women licking them and crawling all over them. A couple dressed in costumes (one as milk) goes to the doctor to ensure that they don't have to worry about lactose intolerance as a barrier to sexual intercourse. It's a commercial (if I remember correctly) for some sort of food product, but it uses this idea of sex to sell itself. And certainly we all remember our first sex talk with our friends. We were all completely wrong in most of the things we thought about sex and our bodies, but we didn't have that many resources. Point being, kids are going to learn about sex whether adults want them to or not and I sincerely think a lot of good could come out of this sex education being purposeful, thorough, and sensitive to many of the issues that are specific to teenagers.

There is a need for a change. The statistic tell us that. 1 in 4 girls 14-19 have a sexually transmitted infection. 1 in 4 college women have survived a rape or attempted rape. Something is wrong when this many women, 25% in each case, are falling victim to our imbalanced system of addressing sex and sexuality. Maybe a massive, universal change is not something that will be possible any time soon, but we can individually make a difference. I am planning on being open and frank with my children about sex and their bodies and would encourage all parents to do so. Make sure your kids are learning the real facts about sex from a source they trust instead of from porn or television. And if you don't feel comfortable talking to your kids about sex seek out other resources that can. I know that I personally would be more than happy to serve as a sex educator and I'm sure there are other people out there who would be more than happy to do the same: guidance counselors, sex educators, national touring groups like 1 in 4, etc. I also know there are great books that address issues of sex like the one I read when I was younger, All About Sex and Growing Up.

I personally think it's great that we have a sexually liberated system in a lot of ways, but I think we need to be making sure that our kids are better prepared to live and function within that system. Even something as small as providing your son or daughter with condoms, instructing them on how to use them and why they are important and offering to help your son or daughter seek out counseling or STI testing if these become issues can make a big difference. I just know I don't want the number of women who are being negatively affected by their sexualities to continue increasing.

Anatomy of Hell

I sat down to write the review for this movie and it felt strangely familiar to me and then I remembered why I never posted on it. I had written the entire review but my internet was out so blogger didn't save it and then my computer died and the post didn't get saved. I was totally bummed and gave up for a while, hence why I'm a little backlogged with movie reviews. Well, here it goes and hopefully I'll get quite a few done this time before I get fed up with the Internet.

It took getting a lot of distance between me and the film before I could actually produce this review. The French film by director Catherine Breillat was disturbing in a most real and visceral way and my first few days after having watched it I couldn't get it off of my mind. It purposefully reaches into the not-so-innocent pasts we all had and attempts to show the ways in which they have affected our sexual developments. It is literally written, at times, with menstrual blood with its provoking dialogue about the sexual relationship between a man and woman. It also really raises questions about the politics of looking and the fine boundary between looking and touching. My one complaint was that the film, while doing a great job about turning this woman's consumptive sexual and emotional crisis into a discussion of the psychological reasons for her sexual fears and compulsions, it completely simplified homosexuality into a condition of being repulsed by women. Obviously, it's far more than that and many men just prefer men and don't have a particular dislike of women. In all, though, this film prompted me to really do a long of soul searching about my own sexuality and relationship to my childhood so I would have to say that it is definitely worth watching.

You can see edited versions of this post on imdb, Netflix, and Amazon.

Confidence

I realized tonight that I have gotten into a habit of thinking that I am the "ugly girl." You know how you are casually dating or sleeping with someone and he and his friends are always talking about the other sweet parties they go to? Sometimes it starts to feel like the girls at all these other parties that they bring home are smoking hot and you're just the one they feel ashamed to mention to people. The interesting thing, though, is that when you are actually around them, for whatever reason, often enough to find out about the other girls they're bringing home, or if you were to randomly stumble into an awkward situation one night, sometimes you realize that you're not the ugly one. In fact, you're pretty smart, funny, laid back, cool, and assured, comparatively. It made me wonder about why sometimes powerful women have a hard time finding happiness in romantic relationships. I think it has to do with what a man (or another woman) can handle at any given time. A strong, worthwhile woman is a lot harder to play games with than someone equally attractive but a little less headstrong both because she can see what's going on and because strong women do command a decent amount of respect. Thinking about all of these good things made me realize that I have been forgetting about the power of positivity over the past semester or so. I had been forgetting that worry about things makes them true instead of just believing in yourself, wanting certain things, and waiting to see what happens, which generally brings out the best of all circumstances.

I'm going to breathe now, for a while, and remind myself of all of the good that is life and of all of the good ways of looking at things. That's it, for now, but I'll probably have more to say on it later.

The Great Happiness Space

This film, The Great Happiness Space by Jake Clynell, was an intriguing, thought-provoking and sometimes disturbing glimpse into a culture that is, to most, unfamiliar if not unthinkable. It engages the audience in a no-holds-barred look at the Japanese male companionship trade, providing insight into reasons for why men become hosts as well as why women seek out their services. Question after question was raised in my mind not only about the lives of the men working at Osaka's Cafe Rakkyo but also about a culture in which this industry can exist and thrive. What are these women lacking in life that makes them shell out thousands of dollars just for amusement, entertainment and male company?

Many reviews and even the synopsis on the website, compare these male hosts to geisha, citing them as a contemporary male version of this ancient tradition, but I have to disagree. Geisha were well trained in a variety of art forms and provided dance and music in addition to their intelligent conversation to the men who paid to spend time in their presence. The male hosts at Rakkyo lack these talents and, instead, offer a different set of services and fill a very specific niche in a Japanese society that has an interesting relationship to sexuality and intimate relationships.

This is a movie to watch, not just to learn about the sex trade in Japan, but also to spark thoughts on why men and women both seek intimacy in its different forms within the service industry. Having lived in Japan and possessing an interest in gender and sexuality issues, I thought I knew what I was getting into when I pressed the play button, but this film introduced ideas and concepts that I shuddered at and could not stop thinking about for days.

See an edited version of this review on Netflix Amazon and IMDB.

Venus Boyz

Venus Boyz, a documentary film by Gabriel Baur, is all about the exploration and expression of masculinity by women. These individuals range from women who are primarily heterosexual and simply enjoy the power and entitlement they feel while wearing men's clothing and attitudes to women born as hermaphrodites who have, after years of classification as female, opted to explore their inner leanings towards masculinity and male-ness. This range of viewpoints was a key element of why Venus Boyz is a film worth watching.

Unlike their male drag counterparts (queens), drag kings don't have as may films that celebrate and explore why women sometimes feel the need to dress like men, although there are some. Other than Brandon Teena's story, which remains in the spotlight due to his traumatic death and Hillary Swank's portrayal of him in Boys Don't Cry, the individual tales of these female cross-dressers and trans-sexuals are often unheard. Venuz Boyz gives us a range of these stories and a chance to take a glimpse into the performer's lives both on and off stage. Although their tales are sometimes accompanied by kitschy performances, I felt like it was the less showy parts of the documentary that were really able to communicate to me some of the politics, problems and positives of cross-dressing and of exploring female masculinity.

I wouldn't recommend this documentary to everyone. Certainly, you have to be willing to listen with an open mind about these womens' experiences with the gender-biased world; but, for those who are interested in exploring how a group of women are working individually to redefine gender, this is a worthwhile film. Even though I had a very open mind going into the film and have a background in similar topics, I had no idea that the range of women who choose to cross dress was so diverse. I was also reassured to hear that many of the "protagonists" of the film have been able to find funding and support for their artistic explorations and expressions.

There is a reason that this film has won awards and been featured at major GLBTQ film festivals, and that it is because it offers an insight into a world not found in other films. And, if you have ever wondered about your own female masculinity, this film will likely offer you comfort and familiarity.

See slightly edited versions of this review on Amazon, Netflix, and IMDB.