Sexual Assault Awareness Week II & CAP Projects

I am super happy that the intro women's studies classes are doing their Community Action Projects (CAPs) again this year. It seems to create this really wonderful, open space where women can talk about body issues, sexuality issues, fashion issues, abuse issues, etc. because of the various groups that are hosting all of these really wonderful events, talks, displays, and whatnot around campus. It also certainly doesn't hurt that some of them were during Sexual Assault Awareness week which is a similarly inclined opportunity to talk openly about some pretty serious issues.

I attended a couple of events during the week, including one I posted on earlier and also the pilot for a new co-ed program run collectively by members of 1 in 4 and Every Two Minutes that will allow freshmen to engage in an open dialogue about giving and receiving consent, particularly when it comes to sexual situations and will help them think about the involvement of alcohol. I wish I could tell you more about the program, but because of the fact that is is currently just a pilot, it was agreed that we would preserve the safe space of the room by allowing all of the discussion that took place to remain between those who were there. I am excited, though, that there is at least an ongoing discussion taking place.

The other events I wanted to mention, though, are both CAP projects. The first was a wall that had pictures of various women in different amounts of clothing that was meant to address body image and show pictures of real women. I am always glad to have this sort of display, but I was walking through with a male friend and his comment was: "All of the women who are less clothed are the ones we would typically think of as being more comfortable with their bodies." I also felt like maybe there wasn't enough of an opportunity for the people photographed to have their feelings about the pictures directly attached. I'd love to see a picture of a really pretty girl with the description "Looking at magazines makes me feel fat and ugly." Surely, I don't want people to feel fat and ugly, but I think that it would demonstrate that there are a lot of people who feel negatively about their bodies who others of us look at and are jealous of. I think it would help my understanding of my own body image to know what other women actually think about their bodies.

Finally, I went to an event called "Fashion Shouldn't Hurt," which was all about the different ways that fashion is bad for women. It included several sections including one that depicted the W&M approach to fashion, a lecture from a local doctor on the potential hazards of high heels and a fashion show of cute but healthy fashions. The group also maintains a website about their issue. The models were legitimately all shapes and sizes and the room was packed full of people who were supportive of everything that was being discussed. I felt like I learned at least a little bit, and I have been way more conscious of the things that I personally do on a regular basis for the sake of fashion that might not be the healthiest for me, and I guess that's the point, but my friend pointed out that most of the people in the room were probably already concerned about the issue and that it was the people who weren't there who really needed all of the information the most. I would agree that a lot of events are based on preaching to the choir. At least, though, the events are being held and the ideas are getting talked about.

words for women writers part one.

Don't tell long stories that don't change subject or have a greater meaning.

They're never as interesting to everyone else as they may or not may be to you.

I know that probably sounds pretentious, and that's not my purpose, but it's not fair to you for you to go on in life not knowing that. It's one of those things that your friends will never tell you because they love you, but it is not one of your more redeeming qualities.

STI rate in teens

So, when people ask me why I focus on the body and sexuality within women's studies I consistently say that it is because I think we are approaching a crisis within the realm of women's bodies because of some mixed messages about weight and sexual activity. An article on BBC today confirmed some of my fears. A study conducted by the CDC showed that one in four girls aged 14 to 19 tests positive for a sexually transmitted infection and that the percentage is even greater for black teens. My fear is that if something doesn't change these numbers will continue to increase.

We live in a society in which sex is permissible for young people outside of wedlock and quite obviously many of these teens are choosing to engage in sex, but they are also obviously not being informed of how to take care of their bodies. I know that I personally went through a sexual education course that was based on the abstinence-only model and I know a good number of my friends had similar experiences.

I was even recently talking to one of my close friends and she said that since sex was something that "just wasn't talked about" in her home and because she always felt guilty and uncomfortable about sex, she has a fair amount of unprotected sex. She said that having a condom and using it made it more real and made her feel more like she was deciding consciously to have sex instead of just letting it happen without protection.

My question is "what do we do about it?" In my mind a lot of these problems could be solved by frank, honest, open, thorough discussions about sex and sexuality with young people in an attempt to help them through the challenging and frustrating process of figuring out their own bodies and how they work, but I'm pretty sure that at least some places in our country are too conservative for that type of sex education.

One of the things, though, is that if children don't receive thoughtful information about sex from reliable resources like teachers, parents, and counselors, they're going to learn about sex from pornography, television and peers instead. Some conservatives think that if we don't teach our kids about sex we are protecting them, but instead we're just leaving them to misinformation from these other sources.

Many teenaged boys begin masturbating to pornographic movies and magazines which they can download off of the Internet or get from friends and older brothers. For anyone who has ever watched a pornographic video or looked into an issue of Playboy or Hustler I am sure you must agree that this is a pretty poor source for boys to be learning about the complexity of sexuality, particularly female sexuality. Porn is even more easily accessible now with the Internet. For instance, youporn.com, an explicit version of youTube, provides hours of free videos and all a person has to do is click a button claiming to be 18. I know that I personally would never want my sons, if I ever had any, to learn about sex from a resource that promotes the message that it is okay to objectify women in the bedroom. Even if you do have a good content filter in place on your computer, you can't stop your young kids from getting messages about sex. Commercials these days treat sex almost like a joke. Men slathered in Axe have women licking them and crawling all over them. A couple dressed in costumes (one as milk) goes to the doctor to ensure that they don't have to worry about lactose intolerance as a barrier to sexual intercourse. It's a commercial (if I remember correctly) for some sort of food product, but it uses this idea of sex to sell itself. And certainly we all remember our first sex talk with our friends. We were all completely wrong in most of the things we thought about sex and our bodies, but we didn't have that many resources. Point being, kids are going to learn about sex whether adults want them to or not and I sincerely think a lot of good could come out of this sex education being purposeful, thorough, and sensitive to many of the issues that are specific to teenagers.

There is a need for a change. The statistic tell us that. 1 in 4 girls 14-19 have a sexually transmitted infection. 1 in 4 college women have survived a rape or attempted rape. Something is wrong when this many women, 25% in each case, are falling victim to our imbalanced system of addressing sex and sexuality. Maybe a massive, universal change is not something that will be possible any time soon, but we can individually make a difference. I am planning on being open and frank with my children about sex and their bodies and would encourage all parents to do so. Make sure your kids are learning the real facts about sex from a source they trust instead of from porn or television. And if you don't feel comfortable talking to your kids about sex seek out other resources that can. I know that I personally would be more than happy to serve as a sex educator and I'm sure there are other people out there who would be more than happy to do the same: guidance counselors, sex educators, national touring groups like 1 in 4, etc. I also know there are great books that address issues of sex like the one I read when I was younger, All About Sex and Growing Up.

I personally think it's great that we have a sexually liberated system in a lot of ways, but I think we need to be making sure that our kids are better prepared to live and function within that system. Even something as small as providing your son or daughter with condoms, instructing them on how to use them and why they are important and offering to help your son or daughter seek out counseling or STI testing if these become issues can make a big difference. I just know I don't want the number of women who are being negatively affected by their sexualities to continue increasing.

Anatomy of Hell

I sat down to write the review for this movie and it felt strangely familiar to me and then I remembered why I never posted on it. I had written the entire review but my internet was out so blogger didn't save it and then my computer died and the post didn't get saved. I was totally bummed and gave up for a while, hence why I'm a little backlogged with movie reviews. Well, here it goes and hopefully I'll get quite a few done this time before I get fed up with the Internet.

It took getting a lot of distance between me and the film before I could actually produce this review. The French film by director Catherine Breillat was disturbing in a most real and visceral way and my first few days after having watched it I couldn't get it off of my mind. It purposefully reaches into the not-so-innocent pasts we all had and attempts to show the ways in which they have affected our sexual developments. It is literally written, at times, with menstrual blood with its provoking dialogue about the sexual relationship between a man and woman. It also really raises questions about the politics of looking and the fine boundary between looking and touching. My one complaint was that the film, while doing a great job about turning this woman's consumptive sexual and emotional crisis into a discussion of the psychological reasons for her sexual fears and compulsions, it completely simplified homosexuality into a condition of being repulsed by women. Obviously, it's far more than that and many men just prefer men and don't have a particular dislike of women. In all, though, this film prompted me to really do a long of soul searching about my own sexuality and relationship to my childhood so I would have to say that it is definitely worth watching.

You can see edited versions of this post on imdb, Netflix, and Amazon.

Breasts: A Documentary

The hour-long documentary Breasts directed by Meema Spadola (who also made a film called Private Dicks: Men Exposed) is a great resource for open dialogue about female bodies, specifically, breasts. Composed of a range of viewpoints--large and small, young and old--the film allows the women to talk about how they feel about their upper bodies and how breasts affect their interactions with the world. Although I am not sure I learned much from watching the film, it was refreshing to hear other opinions on breasts.

I watched the movie with a male friend of mine who I assumed wouldn't enjoy the film much, but afterwards we talked a little bit about his experiences. The film was a good jumping off point for the two of us to discuss other body issues that women have and initiated a few questions about breasts and how women might feel about them. He thought, though, there could have been a larger diversity of breasts and viewpoints and that by limiting the film to 22 voices, many of whom are only shown in specific segments, there were a lot of perspectives excluded.

I thought the film attempted to show women from various walks of life, but it is true that many of my own feelings about breasts were not echoed in what the women on-screen were saying. I did particularly enjoy the mother-daughter pairs who appeared together and discussed not only their own bodies but their feelings about each other's bodies. I think these scenes revealed a lot about how women feel about the bodies of those around them. I also particularly enjoyed the historic clips that were interspersed throughout the interviews because they did a lot to show different ways in which breasts have been depicted over time as well as kept the tone of the film lively.

One issue I did have is that the film raised the question of the power of breasts, something my male friend immediately picked up on and was joking about, without doing much to provide an answer. None of the women really were able to describe the power of having breasts in a clear manner. Instead, it came off as a vague and questionable notion. I would have liked to have seen a few more academic and scientific voices in the mix that could have possibly explained things like biological reasons for the power of breasts and sociological and psychological points of interest. However, as a film that provides a frank glance at what some women think about their breasts, I thought this film was worth seeing. Only an hour long, it easily held my attention and I was disappointed when it was over.

Even though many women assume that they are the target audience, I think this film is particularly appropriate for men. It allows them an opportunity to see women's bodies through the eyes of the women they belong to and to understand a little about what breasts mean to those of us who have them. I also thought the film would be an excellent resource for women with questions about body image who might need some reassurance that the way they feel about their breasts is completely normal.

You can see edited versions of this review on IMDB, Netflix, and Amazon.