Beginning to conclude

Haste suggests in Sexual Metaphors that feminism must work to re-inform the ideologies that shape our institutions in order to actually create change, and it is largely the input we get from various sources that shapes our ideologies--what we buy, who we vote for, what we believe. That makes it important to read/receive the best knowledge possible in order to allow for the ideal shaping of our ideologies. Now, when there is so much information in so many forms readily available, this can be an extremely challenging task.

When I started work on my independent study, I was challenged by the incredible number of resources out there, and the lack of helpful information when it came to selecting the best/most relevant. Part of this problem is that the best academic criticism is only really available in elite places--like inaccessible theory in databases and academic publications that can't benefit anyone without the time, discernment and support systems afforded only in specific situations (like being a college student). I could read on university websites or in JSTOR reviews and suggested lists about which books would be the most useful (which I did), but at the end of the day I had to order my books from somewhere else. On Amazon, the reviews and comments about all of these dense theoretical books and compilations of essays were spare and generally not very helpful.

Because of this, I greatly overshot on reading materials for the semester, and have had a hard time figuring out what comes first. I realized that there needed to be a space out there where someone really provided information on what theory/books to read and what movies to watch. One of the most meaningful ways to have my work this semester make an impact on the larger discipline of women's studies, especially since as an undergrad it is hard to get ones work into more traditional public (and academic) forums, was to post reviews of the sources I was consulting on very mainstream resources, like Amazon, imdb, and Netflix.

Originally I thought that the most important thing in electronic resources was to keep each topic focused on a separate weblog, but now I think that I need to have everything in one place, linked to my identity. So, I m rolling this site over into my larger, new Wordpress account. I am calling this site "Collection Plate." I am eventually going to ask the women's studies department, Reves Center, IR department, Monroe Scholars/Charles Center staff and maybe even the English department to link my site on their pages once I get it fully up and running. I would hope they would continue to keep it accessible at least while I am studying at Oxford next year where I think I'll be moving towards research in nonviolent methods for sustainable international development with a focus on women. I want to keep my new site live then and update regularly, and in the future work towards featuring sections on each of topics in which I am engaged along the course of my studies in and outside the classroom. I am planning to have several pages including freshman year; Kyoto, Japan: classwork and case study; mytwolips; my classwork in my masters program at Oxford; and my case study international peace work/research in Rwanda in 2009-2010.

I've got a lot to say...

and it would seem, not always enough time to say it. I have been thinking and talking a little bit more recently about some of the specifics of using blogs as a medium for independent study and education. I have noticed in the past few weeks that I've gotten really far astray from my initial project, and while I've certainly produced a lot of posts comparatively, they're all over the map. I think it's because I was allowing myself to be so influenced by everything else that was out there to link to and experience, but I am going to definitely try to do some reigning in this week so that I get back on the right page before the end of the month and the end of the semester.

I was thinking too, though, about my posting style and the difficulty I have had in posting rapidly and thoroughly about a lot of the things I'm experiencing and working with because, since I know they are "for class," I feel like they are supposed to be of a certain caliber and academic value. I was observing one of my friend's own process for blogging, and found that there is a distinct difference in the ways in which we post. I made a comment on his most recent post exploring some of these issues, but I'm not exactly sure where to go from there. I just know that I think this medium is really worthwhile, I just have to figure out how to keep it focused enough to always be relevant to its mission.

Sexual Assault Awareness Week II & CAP Projects

I am super happy that the intro women's studies classes are doing their Community Action Projects (CAPs) again this year. It seems to create this really wonderful, open space where women can talk about body issues, sexuality issues, fashion issues, abuse issues, etc. because of the various groups that are hosting all of these really wonderful events, talks, displays, and whatnot around campus. It also certainly doesn't hurt that some of them were during Sexual Assault Awareness week which is a similarly inclined opportunity to talk openly about some pretty serious issues.

I attended a couple of events during the week, including one I posted on earlier and also the pilot for a new co-ed program run collectively by members of 1 in 4 and Every Two Minutes that will allow freshmen to engage in an open dialogue about giving and receiving consent, particularly when it comes to sexual situations and will help them think about the involvement of alcohol. I wish I could tell you more about the program, but because of the fact that is is currently just a pilot, it was agreed that we would preserve the safe space of the room by allowing all of the discussion that took place to remain between those who were there. I am excited, though, that there is at least an ongoing discussion taking place.

The other events I wanted to mention, though, are both CAP projects. The first was a wall that had pictures of various women in different amounts of clothing that was meant to address body image and show pictures of real women. I am always glad to have this sort of display, but I was walking through with a male friend and his comment was: "All of the women who are less clothed are the ones we would typically think of as being more comfortable with their bodies." I also felt like maybe there wasn't enough of an opportunity for the people photographed to have their feelings about the pictures directly attached. I'd love to see a picture of a really pretty girl with the description "Looking at magazines makes me feel fat and ugly." Surely, I don't want people to feel fat and ugly, but I think that it would demonstrate that there are a lot of people who feel negatively about their bodies who others of us look at and are jealous of. I think it would help my understanding of my own body image to know what other women actually think about their bodies.

Finally, I went to an event called "Fashion Shouldn't Hurt," which was all about the different ways that fashion is bad for women. It included several sections including one that depicted the W&M approach to fashion, a lecture from a local doctor on the potential hazards of high heels and a fashion show of cute but healthy fashions. The group also maintains a website about their issue. The models were legitimately all shapes and sizes and the room was packed full of people who were supportive of everything that was being discussed. I felt like I learned at least a little bit, and I have been way more conscious of the things that I personally do on a regular basis for the sake of fashion that might not be the healthiest for me, and I guess that's the point, but my friend pointed out that most of the people in the room were probably already concerned about the issue and that it was the people who weren't there who really needed all of the information the most. I would agree that a lot of events are based on preaching to the choir. At least, though, the events are being held and the ideas are getting talked about.

Academics in the military

Funny that I decided to write about women in the military last night because that topic carries over into what I'm looking at today, which is the position of academics in the military. I wrote a paper last semester about transnational feminism that included a section on its practical applications, one of which I believe is to assist in better understanding the gender relations within the countries with which we are at war or are occupying.

Tonight I attended the Reves Center's McSwain-Walker Lecture given by anthropologist Montgomery McFate. She was discussing the military's new Human Terrain System, a program that basically amounts to deploying people with cultural knowledge(read: people with PhDs) into the field with the military in an attempt to reduce the negative impact of the military. After listening to McFate's lecture, I was inclined to believe that it was a worthwhile program. It seems to make sense that if you're walking into a room with open eyes you're going to bump into fewer things than if you go in blindfolded. Having people in the field who actually know something about understanding the culture of Iraq means that they can work smartly instead of just slinging around big fists. At the same time, though, there are a number of people who are against the HTS including the friend I attended the talk with who discusses it on his blog where he mentions the Network of Concerned Anthropologists who are also pretty anti-HTS.

I guess I hadn't really thought about how complicated the practical application of things could be. The point the anti-HTS crowd stands firm on is that since these anthropologists (and other social scientists) are working for, therefore becoming a tool of, the military, they are complicit with the imperialist system. Their data is used to further the military's purpose which generally seems at odds with the academic discipline of anthropology. Their conclusion is that this can in no way be a good thing. Now, I don't know enough about it to say for certain, but I guess my own personal feelings are mixed.

My way of looking at it is this: while perhaps the entire system has flaws, most systems have flaws, and while it may be true that there are many evils in war, I don't think the HTS necessarily has to be one of them. If you have good people who go in and gather information and try to do some good with it, maybe some good will happen. War isn't ever good, but in the long run, if we have a bit of help with cleaning up the mess we've made over there that doesn't seem so bad. Surely the information gathered is not in itself bad or good, it is knowledge. If that is what the anthropologists are doing, gathering and passing on knowledge, that is a neutral action. It is how that knowledge is then used that is the problem. I'm not sure that I want the line between anthropology and military intelligence blurred, but I also think that where this knowledge is being employed to "fix" things or handle things in a non-violent manner, there is some merit.

Looking back to women's studies, though, what I would have to say is this: while I think that it is necessary to understand the customs relating to women of any given country in order to interact with them appropriately out of respect and cultural sensitivity, to act on their behalf or to tell them what they want or need is too much. We must instead seek to provide tools to a community that will allow them to act for themselves. When I think about how I personally want to shape my interactions with people from other cultures, I know that I want to try to facilitate workshops and programs that are desired by the participants rather than force upon them my own ideas about female empowerment, but I know that is easier said than done.

Sexual Assault Awareness Week Events, I

So, this week on campus is Sexual Assault Awareness Week. The event is participated in by a variety of different organizations and offices and is composed of a variety of events both enjoyable and educational, informative and "just for fun."

The event I attended tonight was a double film screening of Svetlana's Journey and Cargo: Innocence Lost presented by two students from the Third World Feminisms class being taught by instructor Hilary Marcus. The event information also linked the wikisite the two have produced in the course of their classwork.

Svetlana's Journey is a film by director Michael Cory Davis about a Bulgarian girl forced into prostitution. The project was an attempt to depict the brutal reality of sex work with three main purposes (as espoused by the website): show that that the victims of forced prostitution are not to be blamed for their situation, change the minds of any girls who had considered sex work as a viable option and to demonstrate that Bulgarians care about the rights of women. I would have to say that while I thought the film was able to show how terrible life was for one girl and did depict her struggles graphically and realistically, I didn't think it did a terrific job of meeting some of its other stated goals. If I hadn't been watching the film in an academic environment, I am not sure I would have understood that this was specifically a Bulgarian film or had access to information about how and why these women end up in forced prostitution situations. Certainly the project at large does raise awareness for the issue and the website provides a link to Face to Face, a non-profit group actually working against child and forced prostitution in Bulgaria.

The other film being screened, Cargo: Innocence Lost, was also directed by Davis, but did a much better job to to paint the bigger picture of international sex trafficking and the United States role within the larger transnational industry. Cargo blends reenactments of various parts of the trafficking process with interviews with victims and others involved in the fight against against forced prostitution including police officers, social workers and people involved in attempting to persecute the traffickers. The film illuminated the trafficking process, explaining how and why women were able to be convinced to come to the U.S. in the first place and showing the process of how they are eventually, often violently, wrangled into prostitution. I definitely thought this was a much more informative and interesting film and really thought the screening would have gone better had Cargo been showed first. Still, though, it was a worthwhile event and I am looking forward to the rest of Sexual Assault Awareness Week.

two recent poems

These poems aren't super recent, but they do both mention some of the issues I've been thinking about with my independent study, though in a bit of an indirect way. I still wanted to link them here so that you could explore them at your leisure.

Train to Brugge


night driving


Also, I posted links today on Fork... for people to hopefully follow. I would love to get more regular traffic because that would encourage me to actually post every day instead of only once in a while. I also finally posted some information about my first sources although its way back in the archives at this point. I have a lot of other notes to transcribe from my notebook, but it's sort of a slow process since they're a bit scattered.

I wouldn't call it child pornography...

One of my most meaningful continuous dialogues about literary expression of sexuality, kids and all things worthwhile continued tonight and culminated in this post, a poem, on that individual's livejournal. Just thought I'd share since one of the discussed topics was the question of the nymphet (think Lolita) and the difference between kidding and not and the fine line of appropriateness.

This was a topic that had been breeched earlier in the day at dinner when a few girlfriends and I were talking about what it means to take naked pictures of your own children and how careful you have to be about it because of the media's obsession with child pornography. My one friend, who works as the assistant director of an art gallery and is quite aesthetically savvy, mentioned a woman, Sally Mann, whose photographs bring the aforementioned fine line of appropriateness into question. It should be noted that the pictures she takes of naked children are all her own, but her exhibit (later turned into a book) stirred up controversy. She also has a book called At Twelve: Portraits of Young Women which is a series of pictures of girls on the verge of womanhood. I am excited to look over this book which we do have at Swem and to respond to the way that these pictures portray these girls. Another interesting thing to note about Sally is that she is from Lexington, Virginia so I feel like she's of particular interest to those of us here in the state. And a personal "cool fact" is that she attended Friend's World College, now Global College, the program through which I did my semester abroad.

Also, I came across this news story this evening and thought it was worth linking.

STI rate in teens

So, when people ask me why I focus on the body and sexuality within women's studies I consistently say that it is because I think we are approaching a crisis within the realm of women's bodies because of some mixed messages about weight and sexual activity. An article on BBC today confirmed some of my fears. A study conducted by the CDC showed that one in four girls aged 14 to 19 tests positive for a sexually transmitted infection and that the percentage is even greater for black teens. My fear is that if something doesn't change these numbers will continue to increase.

We live in a society in which sex is permissible for young people outside of wedlock and quite obviously many of these teens are choosing to engage in sex, but they are also obviously not being informed of how to take care of their bodies. I know that I personally went through a sexual education course that was based on the abstinence-only model and I know a good number of my friends had similar experiences.

I was even recently talking to one of my close friends and she said that since sex was something that "just wasn't talked about" in her home and because she always felt guilty and uncomfortable about sex, she has a fair amount of unprotected sex. She said that having a condom and using it made it more real and made her feel more like she was deciding consciously to have sex instead of just letting it happen without protection.

My question is "what do we do about it?" In my mind a lot of these problems could be solved by frank, honest, open, thorough discussions about sex and sexuality with young people in an attempt to help them through the challenging and frustrating process of figuring out their own bodies and how they work, but I'm pretty sure that at least some places in our country are too conservative for that type of sex education.

One of the things, though, is that if children don't receive thoughtful information about sex from reliable resources like teachers, parents, and counselors, they're going to learn about sex from pornography, television and peers instead. Some conservatives think that if we don't teach our kids about sex we are protecting them, but instead we're just leaving them to misinformation from these other sources.

Many teenaged boys begin masturbating to pornographic movies and magazines which they can download off of the Internet or get from friends and older brothers. For anyone who has ever watched a pornographic video or looked into an issue of Playboy or Hustler I am sure you must agree that this is a pretty poor source for boys to be learning about the complexity of sexuality, particularly female sexuality. Porn is even more easily accessible now with the Internet. For instance, youporn.com, an explicit version of youTube, provides hours of free videos and all a person has to do is click a button claiming to be 18. I know that I personally would never want my sons, if I ever had any, to learn about sex from a resource that promotes the message that it is okay to objectify women in the bedroom. Even if you do have a good content filter in place on your computer, you can't stop your young kids from getting messages about sex. Commercials these days treat sex almost like a joke. Men slathered in Axe have women licking them and crawling all over them. A couple dressed in costumes (one as milk) goes to the doctor to ensure that they don't have to worry about lactose intolerance as a barrier to sexual intercourse. It's a commercial (if I remember correctly) for some sort of food product, but it uses this idea of sex to sell itself. And certainly we all remember our first sex talk with our friends. We were all completely wrong in most of the things we thought about sex and our bodies, but we didn't have that many resources. Point being, kids are going to learn about sex whether adults want them to or not and I sincerely think a lot of good could come out of this sex education being purposeful, thorough, and sensitive to many of the issues that are specific to teenagers.

There is a need for a change. The statistic tell us that. 1 in 4 girls 14-19 have a sexually transmitted infection. 1 in 4 college women have survived a rape or attempted rape. Something is wrong when this many women, 25% in each case, are falling victim to our imbalanced system of addressing sex and sexuality. Maybe a massive, universal change is not something that will be possible any time soon, but we can individually make a difference. I am planning on being open and frank with my children about sex and their bodies and would encourage all parents to do so. Make sure your kids are learning the real facts about sex from a source they trust instead of from porn or television. And if you don't feel comfortable talking to your kids about sex seek out other resources that can. I know that I personally would be more than happy to serve as a sex educator and I'm sure there are other people out there who would be more than happy to do the same: guidance counselors, sex educators, national touring groups like 1 in 4, etc. I also know there are great books that address issues of sex like the one I read when I was younger, All About Sex and Growing Up.

I personally think it's great that we have a sexually liberated system in a lot of ways, but I think we need to be making sure that our kids are better prepared to live and function within that system. Even something as small as providing your son or daughter with condoms, instructing them on how to use them and why they are important and offering to help your son or daughter seek out counseling or STI testing if these become issues can make a big difference. I just know I don't want the number of women who are being negatively affected by their sexualities to continue increasing.

Back from Break

So, I am back from spring break now, and did a good bit of reading and thinking over the course of the week but was away from the Internet. One of the things I have been having a hard time with is posting regularly and in a timely manner. With weblogs, one of the important things is to post when things are happening, not weeks and weeks later, but I sometimes feel like I need a bit longer to really let my thoughts stew before I'm prepared to post about them. Basically, this is why I never ended up posting about the Sex Workers Art Show and I Love Female Orgasm, both really important, relevant things going on on campus that I had a lot to say about. I realized in retrospect that it wasn't necessarily as important for me to say everything exactly right as it was just to say something and get it out there while people were still thinking and talking about the event, so in light of this and in light of my recent return to campus, I am going to make an effort to post at least three times a week for the rest of the semester. I have a couple of drafted posts that will hopefully go up soon, but in addition to these, I'm going to try to have intermittent posts that summarize everything that I've been doing by way of my project.

This past week I led a service trip of a small group of W&M students and most of the reading material I took with me involved my independent study. Because of that, I ended up getting a chance to discuss a lot of the things I've been reading about and thinking about which was really wonderful for me. I've realized that I do actually have a lot to teach people when it comes to women's bodies and sexuality, especially since these are really sensitive topics and I am really comfortable discussing them, so hopefully I'll be able to continue formulating a conversation from my studies long after I'm done with the official independent study part of things. I know I'm already planning to maintain this weblog through my graduate work.

I've been watching at least two films every week on the broad theme of women's sexuality and bodies, and I have a lot of these I haven't written on yet and I've also been reading some poetry and a few books on the topic, so look for responses to these soon. Also, I would really like for my webpage to show up in searches, but I don't really even know how to go about getting it to show up on search engines, so if anyone has any suggestions, let me know!

Initial Sources

I first started listening to Edward Fischer's lecture series from The Great Courses series entitled Peoples and Cultures of the World. There were lectures on family and marriage and after listening I felt like I had a much more open mind about various notions of marriage and family. I know these things and some examples Fischer uses will come up as I proceed along with my research.

After this, I headed with a group of my friends to Europe. I carried with me a copy of Ann Lamott's Bird by Bird. This book , on the art and craft of writing, detailed a contemporary woman's perspective on writing and new millennium life. Her reflections helped me think a lot about my experiences last semester taking class with the fiction author David L. Robbins. I had really struggled to navigate the path between how I write and how Professor Robbins wanted us to write. I was actively examining gender and sexuality in several of my stories (Behind the Bathroom Door and Sonata in C Sharp), but I wasn't always feeling like I was supported in some of my decisions about subject matter.

Once the new year began, I traveled to Paris where I participated in a writer's workshop at the legendary Shakespeare and Company bookstore and went to the Musee Dorsay where I saw, among other things, the Ferdinand Hodler exhibition, one of the special collections. His women were so strong and powerful and the sexuality was so frank I was almost shocked to find out that he was painting in the 19th century. I lost my friend in the museum, so I picked up a book in the library to read while I was waiting called Art, Women and Society. I am still in the process of reading it as I'm getting ready for the beginning of school.

Film Comments

Part of my independent study is dedicated to watching films, both documentary and fictional, that are able to contribute to my understanding of gender, the body, and sexuality. Originally, I had thought that my comments would be restricted to observations I would make either on this blog or in formal writing, but last night I started thinking about the whole point of my study. I'm interested in how contemporary women are working to remap the body and redefine female sexuality, but I am not completely sure whether I am content to sit on the side, watching and reporting what other women are doing. I am maintaining this blog in the attempt to reach people who are interested in similar issues, shooting my thoughts out into cyberspace where they may be helpful or useful to people searching for answers regarding any number of topics I may explore through my studies. I realized that if I am watching a film to find answers and am committed to reacting to it in writing, I might as well make sure that other people see those thoughts and comments. So, rather than only posting movie reviews and reflections here, I am also planning on contributing to various other forums including Amazon, IMDB, and maybe Netflix. I'm not really sure which of these spaces I will find to be the easiest to navigate, but I will play around with them a little bit until I really a routine that works. I will probably put the same comments in each place, but I know that there will be different formats and whatnot. So, stay tuned for updates on what I decide and the things I've been posting.

Intro Part I.

This blog, My Two Lips, was created as a reservoir for all of the written pieces and ideas produced as a part of my Spring 2008 independent study within the women's studies department at the College of William & Mary under the supervision of Professor Christy Burns.

I have recently been watching a lot of films, including Yesterday and Venus Boyz, and reading some books and poetry that are directly or indirectly related to the things I'm seeking to explore in my independent study and I realized that a lot of my initial thoughts were becoming lost as I sought time to sit down and write a more formal analysis.

I have still been toying with my ideas about the final product I want to result from my work, and while I still think that a scrapbook that contains formal work, images, reflections, and a significantly annotated bibliography is going to be extremely important, I wanted to ensure that I had a space in which to think "out loud" about my ongoing readings and projects wherever I was and regardless of what I was doing. To this end, I decided to create this blog as both an extension of my independent study as well as a resource from which I may later be able to pull ideas, information and even entire bits of text for my scrapbook.

The Internet has become such an important way through which to collect, link, and disseminate information and web logs are one of the quickest and easiest ways to produce a website where information and personal thoughts can be shared that this seemed like the right solution. All of the original work presented here is the sole and individual work of myself, Ashley Slaff, and is protected by copyright laws as such.

Thank you, again, for reading, participating and thinking. Please feel free to comment at your leisure. I'll be sure to keep you updated.